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June 2012
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Archive for June 9th, 2012

Jewels saw this and said

“hey look this tuna is dolphin friendly cus it has a picture of a dolphin on the tin”

She didn’t realise its a picture of a TUNA fish on a tin of tuna lol

jewels has decided to make me fajitas , so im sat here waiting and i hear a `oh shit` then she comes in with the spices and says she has put the salsa sauce in the veg and chicken instead of the spices lol

jewels decides to cook curly Kayle cabbage in the microwave with NO WATER lol looks like bloody dry cannabis lol then she laughs and says ” looks like were having beans ” lol

jewels gets frustrated at her sat nav cus she gets confused lol

she expects arms and legs to come out of it and drive for her , it’s says ” in 300 yards turn left ”

jewels says ” what here ?? There’s no left ”

Then when we get here she thinks it’s allocates her a parking space lol

“look at those raft iron gates for sale”

when she really meant to say ‘wrought iron gates’ lol

Is LMAO at jewels , she rings stocksbridge leisure Center at 1430 to book a court for tonight and realises it closes at 1400 so no answer, so I said don’t worry we will go tomorrow , she then rings them back to book it for tomorrow lol then realises it’s still closed lol lol

has just heard the best saying yesterday from Jewels

i said to her ” are you having a drink tonight ?”

to which she replied ” huh is the pope jewish??”

lol JEWISH can you believe it lol , if theres 2 ways to do it then Jewels will get it wrong lol

Conversation of the week
Jewels – babe my phones dead again , it keeps loosing power
Me – are you sure you charged it ?
jewels – ye I’m not daft…..how do you turn it off?
Me – press and hold the red button
Jewels – oh …………………… I Think I’ve been turning it off By accident

Another noticable quote from jewels:-

“Hey babe you can tell the weathers going to be nice today cus it’s windy and raining ”

Lol ye jewels you can see from a mile off

well jewels has just done it again , she was opening a new bank account on the phone and the woman asked if she wanted a paying in book

jewels replied ‘whats that for?’

after the operator stopped laughing, jewels said to me’ babe thats not very professional is it, laughing at me’ ,lol

The funniest moment ever…. jewels goddard stayed up till half ten, fighting the tiredness to bid on something on ebay, …20 seconds to go, bid entered,10 seconds to go, she waits till last second then ………she hits CANCEL lol

there was uproar and a lot of cursing lol oh and a lot of under my breath laughing from me lol

Jewels has just done the most funniest thing, she told me if I don’t get her a bag of crisps by the time she counts to ten shes not talking to me, she then starts counting………..With her fingers lol

funny thing is that when she reached number ten, she was only on finger number eight lol

I said to Jewels

“Vampires dont exist”

Jewels says

“Yes they do cus they go on Vampire websites”

……………No Comment lol

Another intellectual conversation with jewels , she doesn’t believe in the big bang she said

“adam and eve created the universe along with a snake that stole the apple , the snake bit the apple which is why men have a rib more than women”

???????? …. Guys don’t even ask cus I ain’t got a clue what it all means

Me and Jewels were watching TV the other night, when the program finished i noticed Jewels was asleep, i nudged her with my foot and said

“Jewels turn it over”

She woke up, grabs my foot and tries turning the TV over ….. WITH MY FOOT

She was surprised when it didn’t work lol

Just showing Jewels my Iplan electricity monitor and i said

“We have used 7KWH of electricity today”

to which Jewels replies

“Im not surprised having the heating on today..”

bare in mind we have GAS central heating lol