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August 2012
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Archive for August, 2012

In asda and i said to Jewles

“Do you want some tuna, its 4 cans for £4”

She replies

“There expensive, that makes them 1 pound per tin…….what about these ones , there only £3 for 3”

You do the maths Jewels…………….

Said to Jewels the other day

“Poor Neil Armstrong, he was the first ever person to walk on the moon”

Jewels replied

“No he wasnt, it was that monkey”

LOL nuff said

Jewels decided to buy this because it would taste better for the dogs, first thing is…. dogs will eat their own feet if they had gravy on them and second … WHO THE HELL TASTED THIS TO SAY ITS `REAL MEATY TASTE`?????

I went to empty the dishwasher the other day and noticed all the pots were still dirty, i was hoping there wasn’t a fault  so started the diagnosis, the first thing i noticed is the dishwasher tablet STILL IN ITS WRAPPER, Jewels had only thought it was a disposable wrapper and sent it through a wash lol

Approaching this object jewels shouts `hey look its a BBQ`

mmmmm looks more like a bomb to me lol

Just been walking on the beach at cleethorpes and jewels says `ahh look at that dog`

I said `what dog is it?`

Jewels says `its a dulux dog`

i said `its not called a dulux dog`

she said (quite serious) ` it is , its named after the dulux paint`

lol so apparently these dogs didn’t exist until 1931 which is when dulux was created and as a mascot they created these dogs lol

Jewels makes a nice pasta……………………BUT she always forgets about it until she hears the crackling then she knows its done, that’s as well as the smoke alarm.









Jewels asked me if i wanted a horlicks to make me feel better as i was feeling a bit under the weather.

Needless to say once i got this i was feeling under a bloody storm lol

Jewels has just asked me to read how long a microwave burger needs from the packet

I said “For our microwave it needs 80 seconds”

She looks at me cleverly and says “Dont you mean 1 minute and 40 seconds!!”

How can I answer that lol



Just been to Tesco and i said to Jewels

“Wow look at all that Halal chicken”

Jewels looks at me quite surprised and says

“Babe …. how do you know its Halal???”

lol i don’t know babe, think it was just a lucky guess